Saturday, January 21, 2012

Oh Rotten Day!!!!

So today I feel like a total grouch! Nothing like waking up to that huge temp drop, knowing that at some point in time on this day AF will be here which will bring yet another CD1. I really am not sure how many more times I can take this. I completely understand that we are barely over the one year mark for trying but right now I am completely tried already. So as if waking up to that huge temp drop wasn't enough to keep me down all day, DH had to work his shift today and I had to spend the day entertaining my step daughter. I love my step daughter with all my heart and we always have a great time, but on a day like today I just need DH around so that I can deal with the emotions of another failed cycle. So you might be thinking at this point I am just complaining to complain, oh if only that were it. Oh it completely gets worse. I got Facebooked tonight, what does this mean??? Well it means that as I sit down to relax after dinner and a day of entertaining an 8 year old, I pick up my phone to play on FB for a few minutes and what do I see??? I see that my step daughters biological mother has given birth to her baby #3. I know that there are no limits to the number of babies that people can have or anything like that but it just hurts to see people I know having babies when I have been trying for so long and have nothing to show for. What also made me really grouchy about the entire situation is that she promised my step daughter that she would call her if she was going to the hospital to have the baby, nope no phone call, no text message or nothing. According to FB she "checked in" at the L&D around 2:00pm and the baby was born at 6:45pm, she didn't bother sending a text message until 10:00am the next morning. It just kills me to see my sweet little step daughter get so bummed out by broken promises. For all of these things make me grouchy. So today just call me Oscar the Grouch!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Getting Better???

Well after a rough weekend of coughing I think I am finally getting better. I just wish I was back at 100%. I hate having to take medicine in the first place but to have to take it while I am in the 2WW I feel even worse. I know I shouldn't feel bad about it but that big "What if?" makes me so nervous. I still have another week before I know the fate of this cycle. As of right now I am not feeling too great about it. I have no symptoms, but maybe that is a good thing. Only time will tell.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Still Sick

So here it is Friday and I am sick. I really thought about staying home from work because I felt like I big ol' bucket of a$$. I woke up this morning and took my temp as I always do. It was high for what it should be at this point of the month (I know it is a little frightening that I know what my temperature should be just about every day), anyway I knew deep down that since it was that high it could be 1 of 2 things. 1.) I could actually be pregnant or 2.) I have a low grade fever. So I roll out of bed and go to the bathroom and grab an IC so I can POAS and see if I am pregnant. Knowing that I am only 6DPO right now it is way too early for a positive test but I was going to give it a shot anyway since I have so many just sitting there. Of course as I suspected it was negative and I went back to bed. As soo as I got back to bed I began coughing so hard that my throat and stomach were both in a lot of pain, I could feel that phlem build up and knew I needed to run back to the bathroom at which point I began to vomit phlem and anything else that could have drained from my sinuses. Sorry for the TMI and the ugly mental picture. Anyway I am guessing that based on my sequence of events from this morning I am still sick, just sick and not pregnant.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Should I feel bad?

So here it is day 3 of some sort of coughing issue. I am not sure that I would call it a full blown cold but I do know one thing for sure is that I do not feel good. In a normal not so crazy world I would just pop some Nyquil or Dayquil and just go about my day as normal........but here I sit in the crazy tree of another 2WW wondering. I wonder if I should take the medicine because IF I was pregnant I wouldn't take it but since I'm not sure and wont know for at least another week how this cycle went it seems like it might be okay to take it. When we first started TTC (over a year ago) there were a number of things that I would not do while I was in the 2WW, like drink alcohol or take medicines other than PNV. Now all of a sudden, ever since we past that not so magical one year mark of trying I am starting to have more of a F-it attitude. I am starting to think that trying to be healthy and not drink or take certain medicines that might make me feel better all becasue I "might" be pregnant really isn't worth it. I am starting to feel like I just would rather feel better and be happy then be pregnant. I mean please don't get me wrong I want a baby more than anything, but right now I just want to feel better. I know I could go out and buy medicine that is "safe" to take while you are pregnant but I already have this stuff on hand. I know completely lazy, but like I said F-it. Please don't judge too hard.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year and a New Me

Well it is the start of a new year. Welcome 2012!!!! I am ready to make this the year. Let's see if I can give you a run down on where things stand. We have been trying for the past year to have a baby. Sounds like fun, right? While yes it is fun practicing it is not fun to face the negative pregnancy tests each month. "They" say it can take a healthy couple a year to conceive, but I always thought we would be over achievers (I guess not). So here we are at the point where "they" say we can seek a little medical help. We have had a few tests run and all seems to be in the normal range. So back to the question at hand.... Why hasn't it happened yet? No one can be sure. We definatley have been giving it a good try. We have been given the option to move on to an RE and get help but we have decided to wait. We will wait until May........ Why? Well it is kind of a long story that maybe someday I will fill you in on, the short version is we have a family cruise scheduled for October 2012 and if I want to go on the cruise I can not be further than 24 weeks along. We will not be preventing in the meantime, so if it happenes it happens but it won't be happening with help until after May, if we have to wait that long.