The Positives and Negatives

Today is 15dpiui and beta day. I woke up early and decided to POAS. It was the first time I did it this cycle, but the outcome was no different than any other cycle. Yep that's right it was a Big Fat Negative. I still went into the RE and had the blood draw done for my beta and now I await the call from my nurse. I haven't cried about it yet today, which seems weird to me. I am upset, no better yet I am pissed that 5 IUI's and nothing. What gives???
But with each negative there is a positive. Not being pregnant now means that I can drink while we are on our cruise next week. I fully intend on enjoying myself on this cruise. I will take this time to reset my mind to gear up for IVF. I'm not really sure how/when the whole process starts(I will know more when Nurse D calls). I know that I will be starting BCP at some point in time, probably this week. And double good news about my next cycle starting sometime this week means I won't be on my period while we are on the cruise either. Can you say winning????